OLLIE Locke and his husband Gareth had their worlds turned upside down when they suffered a heartbreaking loss in December last year.
Shortly after sharing the exciting news they were to become parents, Ollie, 34, made the announcement that their surrogate had miscarried at six weeks.
But in an exclusive interview with The Sun, Made in Chelsea star Ollie has revealed their loss was doubly painful as they were actually expecting twins.
He said: "I filmed a scene for the Chelsea series finale, where I told a friend we were five weeks pregnant. It was so exciting to let everybody know.
"Then a couple of weeks later we had to call the producers and say ‘we’ve lost the babies’ – it was two babies – and they asked if we wanted them to scrap the episode.
"I said absolutely not as I felt it was important to let people know that there are difficult times before happily ever after."
But Ollie and Gareth are determined to continue on their journey and are hoping that next year will be the one they finally become parents.
"It hasn't been easy at all," Ollie said. "But having a community of people around use who I didn't know – I've had thousands of messages from that one post alone from people going through the same – has helped.
Most read in TV
'IT'S SO HARD'
Alison Hammond breaks down on This Morning and is consoled by co-stars
'IT'S SO HARD'
Georgia Harrison shares 'pregnancy news' with co-star – but is all as it seems?
Businesswoman targeted by Tinder Swindler after he resurfaced on Insta
Mark Wright breaks silence over becoming an uncle for the first time
"We're all holding each other's hands. We're hoping that next year will be the year we get the baby we want and deserve and need."
"It's pulled us apart"
Made in Chelsea viewers are used to Ollie's honesty and he's very careful not to paint a false picture of the realities of fertility and baby loss.
Ollie said: "I’m going to be completely real and say that, although we hold each other’s hands and make sure we’re both doing ok, it’s caused us stress and it hasn’t been easy.
"I wouldn’t be a real person if I said the experience has brought us together because that’s not how life is.
"If anything it’s pulled us apart slightly – we’ve spent over £100,000 trying to do this so far and we’ve got no embryos left.
"You sit there and think ‘where has that money gone, have we done something wrong?” We get angry at each other – that’s what a relationship is."
Ollie added: "Behind the show and the red carpet events we’re all human. Fertility doesn’t care how much money you’ve got. It’s like heartbreak, there’s not enough money in the world to get rid of it.
He recently appeared on the Boots Taboo Talk podcast hosted by Vogue Williams, and Ollie stressed the importance of having information on topics such as fertility available.
"There is advice out there but sometimes it’s expensive and the last thing you want to do is to try to spend £1k on a phone call," Ollie continued. "It’s what we did at the beginning. There are a lot of people out there who are trying to make money from this.
"But anyone can find the podcast easily – it’s free, it's there and it’s helpful advice. Why do these subjects have to be taboo? We should all be talking about this."
Discussing taking part in the podcast, Ollie made a cheeky joke about his former Made in Chelsea co-star Spencer Matthews.
He said: “It was a wonderful privilege doing the Boots podcast because it was four people going through very different things. I was with two very pregnant women and Amy Hart, who was talking about egg freezing
“Vogue was talking about having three kids but she also has to be married to Spencer Matthews which is a difficulty in itself.”
"It's not easy for gay couples to start a family"
Ollie thinks it's time that laws surrounding gay couples and surrogacy were looked at.
He points out that, despite gay marriage being legalised, there are still certain restraints which can make finding a surrogate very difficult.
"When it comes to fertility and surrogacy, the British law is not very good especially for gay men," Ollie said. "You are not allowed to advertise for a surrogate, they are not allowed to advertise to be a surrogate.
"You can make embryos on the NHS but then how do you find each other?
"The law hasn’t been touched in 32 years. It was all very exciting when gay marriage was legalised but you can’t be like ‘you can have the happily ever, but you can’t have the after yet’.”
Source: Read Full Article