Needy and controlling mother-in-law is taking up all my husband's free time

DEAR DEIDRE: MY mother-in-law’s needy behaviour is running my marriage.

She’s 65 and was widowed last year.


For more advice from Dear Deidre

No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.

  • Dear Deidre on Mental Health
  • Dear Deidre on Identity  
  • Dear Deidre on Debt and Money 
  • Dear Deidre on Work
  • Dear Deidre on Health and Wellbeing 
  • Dear Deidre on Addiction

Now my husband finds it impossible to say no to her.

She runs him ragged with demands, and he’s so stressed that he takes it out on me and our young daughters.

I’m 39 and have been married to my husband, 40, for 15 years. I got on well with his mother in the past, but she was always controlling.

Now she calls him ten times a day, every day, and asks him to come over to fix things or help her with paperwork in the evenings and weekends.

We rarely see him. He has a stressful job too and isn’t coping.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to [email protected]

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

But rather than stand up to her, he just snaps at me.

I get – and respect – that he wants to be a good son, but I don’t think I can take much more.

Most read in Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE

My girlfriend had drunk sex with a woman but said it's not really cheating

PERTH-ERT

Is it weird that my Australian uncle pats my bum and calls me sexy?

OPERATION OUCH

I don't know how we'll pay the rent when my husband has his cancer surgery

TOFF LUCK

My noisy neighbour drives me crazy but no one believes me because he's posh

DEIDRE SAYS:  It does sound like she is very needy indeed and is putting a lot of pressure on your husband – a decent man who clearly doesn’t want to let her down.

You need to talk to him again and suggest that you try to manage her needs together.

Setting some boundaries is essential. For starters, could his mother restrict her phone calls to him to the evening unless there is a real emergency.

My support pack on Stress might be helpful for him to read.

NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE My friend keeps putting me down because I'm from Romford and I'm fed up

READ DEIDRE'S STORIES Freya confronts Beth as she thinks Eric is having an affair

GET IN TOUCH How the page works and how to contact us

    Source: Read Full Article