DEAR DEIDRE: MY mum and siblings resent me having a relationship with my dad.
They say I am disloyal because my parents divorced when I was young, mum raised us all and dad wasn’t around much and often let us down.
He wasn’t the best father I admit, but I am a 26-year-old woman and I’d like to have a relationship with him.
We talk on the phone regularly and meet up around six times a year.
If my family are discussing my dad it usually results in massive arguments and it causes major issues. I don’t understand why I can’t have a relationship with him.
One of my brothers asked my dad for a large sum of money and got it but he stopped talking to him again shortly afterwards.
I don’t ask my dad for any form of financial assistance and yet I am the one who is always being accused of wanting money from him.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You’ve had a dad-shaped hole in your life, so it isn’t surprising that you want to get to know him.
You are an adult and it is your life. It is your right and your choice despite your family’s protests.
Be mature, calm and assertive with your family.
Tell them you don’t want to fall out but you do want to feel free to make your own choices.
My support pack Standing Up For Yourself will help you to talk to them without it causing further arguments.
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