DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband admitted sleeping with sex workers and I feel I can’t trust him any more.
We married after dating since our school days and we are now both 47. We have two sons who are now grown up.
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My husband always presented himself as a good, clean man who lived conservatively and detested anyone who’d cheat.
He then found alcohol and became a heavy drinker which has had an impact on our sex life.
I found a card in his trouser pocket one day from a massage parlour, well known for masseurs who are really sex workers.
I confronted him and he admitted to cheating. He says it was just “once or twice” but I can’t let it go.
This really hurt my feelings and self-esteem. Now our sex life is affected even more.
We still try to have sex but I keep imagining him with these women and it ruins it.
I’m concerned he’ll give me an STI but our families would be so shocked if we split up.
When he goes out, I think: “There he goes again.”
He says he’s steering clear of these places but I just don’t trust him.
DEIDRE SAYS: It is very hard to rebuild trust once broken.
Tell your husband you need a radical overhaul of your life together and relationship.
Spell it out that he needs to cut his drinking right down for your marriage to be happy once more.
He may be in denial about his alcohol dependency but he can find a guide to healthy drinking levels at drinkaware.co.uk.
I know it’s extra hard with coronavirus around but look at ways you can spend time happily and healthily together, even if it’s just something simple like going for a walk together as it can help rebuild the loving bond.
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