DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE taken to satisfying myself sexually when my fiancé is not around.
Sex was amazing when we first met but we just don’t have it now.
I am quite a sexual person but my fiancé isn’t.
We haven’t had sex for almost a year after he started having problems getting and keeping an erection.
We have tried medication but it is not always successful. I am 47 and my fiancé is 51.
We have been together for just over two years. We are both divorced.
We are due to get married next year and I have tried to talk to him about it but he just says it makes him feel weak.
We have a good life. We are not rich but we have been on nice holidays and have lots of fun but I feel let down.
He adores me but is it possible to be lonely and in love? I am so confused.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your fiancé must be feeling such a failure.
Tell him you want the two of you to start showing one another loving affection, even if you can’t enjoy full sex right now.
He could join in pleasuring you without needing to have intercourse.
Stronger medication might work better for him – some come in different strengths – but pills aren’t the answer if the problem is psychological.
My e-leaflet on Solving Erection Problems can help the two of you resolve this together.
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