With the end of the school year coming, teacher presents are a big deal.
But if you have more than one child at school or if finances are tight, you have to have to budget.
Teachers will probably love any little tokens they get anyway.
One mum said she heard that some of the parents were doing a collection so they could all chip in and get the teachers at her son’s nursery school something special.
But she was shocked when she heard that the parent organising the collection was asking for £40 for everyone.
Posting on Netmums, she said: ‘Some other mums agreed (3 of them wrote they agree over the whatsapp) and I guess some in a similar situation like me ( who find spending so much money over the top and irrational considering raising more than one lo and paying bills for a larger family) were surprised.
‘I decided I’d like to chip in but have to think about other expenses, so I contacted the mum telling her I sent her £25.’
She said that the mum who was organising it came back to her and told her she had to give £40.
‘I explained we have to budget and that’s how much I can spend. I was shocked to receive a text couple of hours later saying it is not fair towards the other mums to pay so much less then them & I am putting her in an awkward position and she will give me my £25 back!’
The following day, she asked to speak to the mum and tried to explain her situation.
She added: ‘I tried to explain that I am happy to have my money back and even though we have a difference of opinions I wanted to agree on closing this issue with getting my money back and asked her not to discuss this with other mums since I wouldn’t like to polarise our group and keep on friendly terms with all parents. She seemed to be offended when she saw she will not make me share her opinion.
‘She tried very emotionally to explain how unfair it would be to accept my £25 towards the others to which I told her I cannot understand that, if it’s unfair that perhaps the teachers will think we all gave the same amount.’
The poster said that when the other mum realised that they weren’t going to agree, the organiser said she is a 45 year old full time masseur and doesn’t need this hassle.
The poster said: ‘I knew better not to add I am 40, I have a masters degree in finance and held a full time job for 20 years. And haven’t been put down like this many times in my life.’
She said she felt ‘shocked and humiliated. She asked people on Netmums what they thought.
‘I still feel it was unethical and that this should not be happening in the 21st century. My hubby had enough of listening about it, so I’d like to ask you for your opinion and discuss just to help me with processing and getting over this,’ she said.
Most agreed that it was too much money.
One mum said: ‘£40 per person for a teacher seems astronomical but with any collection of this kind, I have never heard of anyone asking for set amounts and particularly that high. I would always be saying “give what you can give” – I mean even a much smaller amount of £5 is still contributing to the gift…it really comes across as a vanity project to do it this way.
‘I applaud all teachers – they are fantastic people – but I honestly think that a gift from the heart matters more than an item of huge expense. So buy something your kid chooses for this teacher – even if it’s something they make for themselves.’
Another user who works as a teacher said: ‘As a nursery teacher I would be absolutely mortified by this! Yeah it’s nice for parents to show their appreciation, but not by collecting/ spending this much money! Crazy.’
So what are some good options for saying thank you to your kid’s teachers this year?
If you get an idea of the teacher’s personality, try to get something that fits with their hobbies or interests.
You can get lots of personalised presents for under £15 that make really thoughtful gifts.
For example, this personalised notebook is both sweet and useful for them to use next term. It’s currently £9.60.
Or you could try a personalised tote bag – perfect for them to carry around piles of marking. This one is on sale for £12.50.
A sunflower growing kit with a touching message is also a lovely idea.
For practical gifts, try a coffee cup or nice reusable water bottle. Perfect for when they’re out on playground duty.
Chocolates, some nice local produce or making up a break time gift set with coffee, a mug and some treats is a great idea too.
And if all else fails, a gift voucher is easy and will always be useful. If you don’t want to spend lots on it, pick one up for a local coffee shop or cafe so they can have lunch on you.
There are easy ways to show your appreciation for everything they’ve done, without breaking the bank.
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