I blame myself for not spotting my late wife's cancer

DEAR DEIDRE:I FEEL so bad for not spotting my wife’s cancer after all my years as a registered nurse.

I am a man of 72. She was 69 when she died suddenly after a short illness.


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She had a pain in her back and I thought it was her slipped disc playing up again. But when she had a scan, they found cancer in her bones and some of her organs.

There was nothing anyone could do and she passed away within two months.

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I blame myself because I didn’t spot the signs.

My life feels empty now.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I am so sorry you lost your lovely wife but please do not blame yourself.

Sadly, cancer can confound even the most experienced of medical specialists sometimes.

Build comfort in the fact that you had a wonderful marriage and no doubt made many happy memories.

Find support from family and friends who knew her and who can talk about the happier times you shared together.

You will find a great understanding through Sue Ryder (sueryder.org, 0808 164 4572), which offers free short-term bereavement counselling.

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