There’s a lot you can learn about a person based on their body language. Experts say that if they avoid eye contact, it might mean they have something to hide. If they turn their body toward you, it might mean they’re super interested. But what about when your partner’s been unfaithful? Can your partner’s body language change if they’ve cheated? Well, experts say it’s not impossible.
If you have a feeling your partner has strayed, you can look to their body language for signs, but don’t expect a full confirmation. "Cluster cues are a group of body language behaviors that translate to either positive or negative feelings," Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist, relationship coach and creator of Your Happiness Hypothesis Method, tells Elite Daily. "When your partner has cheated, they may exhibit negative cluster cues. This can be your partner moving away when you try to go near, crossing their arms, or any behavior that seems like they are trying to avoid you. What makes you be able to determine if it’s guilt-driven is how often they keep avoiding you."
The only way to truly know if your partner has been unfaithful is to ask and have an honest conversation. While body language can be a useful tool, it’s not a sure-fire tell. However, if you notice your partner isn’t as present as they usually are, that could be behavior to take note of.
But why does your partner’s body language change after they’ve cheated? According to Silva, it all comes down to guilt. "Guilt will likely keep your partner physically distant," she explains. "They may begin touching you less and less, smiling less, withdrawing from sex, and crossing their arms more frequently when they are around you." It doesn’t sound pleasant, but as Silva says, guilt can manifest itself in the body’s physical motions, so if you start to get the vibe that something has changed in your partner, guilt could be the culprit.
That said, they could be feeling guilty about a number of things that may have nothing to do with infidelity. They may keeping a secret from you, or did something they know you wouldn’t approve of, and it’s eating them up inside. While it’s easy to jump toward infidelity as the source of their guilt, keep in mind that may not always be the truth.
Ultimately, if you want final confirmation about whether or not your partner has been unfaithful, the best way to do it is to ask them straight up, as one body language expert recommends. Their body may react in ways you’re not expecting. "If you’re asking direct questions like, ‘Have you ever cheated on me?’ or ‘Have you cheated on me recently?’ or ‘What kind of relationship do you have with Sarah?’, you can look for mismatches in the body language and words," body language expert Traci Brown, author of Persuasion Point, tells Elite Daily. "For example, if someone answers ‘No’ as they nod their head yes, that’s a good indication of deception," Brown adds.
Additionally, body language expert Patti Wood suggests looking down. "Look at their feet," Wood tells Elite Daily. "Where the toes point, the heart follows. Look at your sweetie’s feet when you are out with other people. If they are pointed at you, great. If they’re pointed at someone else, your partner may be spending more time pointing at someone else."
While body language can potentially change after someone has cheated, it is most likely because the guilt from the act is causing it to change. And guilt can come from any situation, not just exclusively cheating. If you’re already in-tune to your partner’s body language and then notice a change like the experts explained, have an honest conversation. Tell them that you’ve noticed a difference in their behavior, and you’d like to talk about it. No good ever came from just assuming something, and it’s better to take someone at their word than to base major life decisions on body language that may or may not indicate infidelity. So have the tough talk. It’ll be worth it in the end.
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