15 Dad Jokes That Are Just As Groan-Worthy As They Are Funny

1.A grasshopper walked into a bar. The bartender said, “we have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper said, “Why would you name a drink Charlie?”

2.The mama buffalo dropped off her son off at school. What did she say?

“Bison!”

3.Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.

Ba dum tss!

4.Why do cows have hooves?

Because they lactose.

5.What did 0 say to 8?

“Nice belt.”

6.What happened to the exorcist’s car?

It got repossessed.

7.A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, “Give me some Chapstick — and put it on my bill.”

8.What did the baby corn say to mama corn?

“Where’s popcorn?”

9.When’s a door not a door?

When it’s ajar.

10.Did you hear about those new corduroy pillows?

They’re making headlines!

11.Why did the scarecrow get an award?

He was outstanding in his field.

12.What do you call two 100 year old buffalo?

Bison-tennial.

13.The other day I saw a baguette in a cage.

It was bread in captivity.

14.Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I press here, here and here.Doctor: I know exactly what ails you!

Patient: What is it, doctor?

Doctor: You have a broken finger!

15.What did the cow say to the Democrats?

“Don’t moo — vote!”

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