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Vicky Pattison has spoken out about the pressure she felt to look perfect when she first found fame on Geordie Shore.
The reality star, who is one of the original cast members of the reality series that began in 2011, said it was difficult to hear everyone else’s opinions on her body shape.
Vicky, 32, spoke candidly about her body, her thoughts on cosmetic surgery and how she lost herself during her first stint on TV in Frankie Bridge’s podcast, Open Mind with Frankie Bridge.
She said: “When I was quite new to the industry I think it was super difficult to find a balance and to make people happy.
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“I was too big for people at one point, I was too small for people at one point and actually it doesn’t really matter what people think, it was what was healthy and what was good for me.
“I think your twenties are such a journey of self discovery and also crippling insecurity, so I was always just trying to be what everyone wanted me to be.”
Vicky confessed that she felt pressure to emulate the looks of other women.
She said: “I was always trying to look like how everyone else looked. It’s so difficult for women.
“But ultimately [I was] feeling like there was f***ing no way I am spending any more time trying desperately to look like someone else, like I’m a size 10-12, I’ve got boobs and a bum and there’s no way I’m going to apologise.
“I think I’m just in place now where I just own it.
When Frankie pointed out that some of the Geordie Shore girls have become known for their love of plastic surgery, Vicky denied being a fan.
She joked: “If I had loads of plastic surgery and still looked like this, it would be a bit of a punch in the d***.
“Weirdly, we don’t all think the same. The only thing I can possibly say – I couldn’t comment on what the girls have had – as much as we had a great time of our lives spent together, sort of five years, we don’t really speak much now.
“No hard feelings. Just because they’re not sitting at my table.
“I always say, you don’t still check in on how Barry from Accounts is doing when you leave your job. You let Barry crack on as long as he seems happy.
“Also maybe I’m just a massive f****. I’m so scared of surgery and things!”
Vicky went on to discuss her time on the hit MTV reality show, which she appeared on between the ages of 22 and 27.
She said: “I’ll always be dead grateful to Geordie Shore for giving us a platform. I’ve been able to do loads of great stuff since, but I proper consider that chapter of my life over.
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“There are some things we did that were super controversial that I’m not really proud of and I do wish I kept private, but we were young, we were silly, we were paving the way.
“I don’t know if we were doing stuff that was worse than what other people were doing or if we were just naive.”
The former queen of the I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here jungle said she ended up becoming an exaggerated version of herself when appearing on Geordie Shore.
She explained: “I got swept up and carried away in what I thought everybody wanted me to be and I often say I was a caricature of myself by the end.
“I can be loud and I can swear… boisterous and all the rest of it. When people come to expect that of you, you act up. Everything’s amplified and I become the Vicky that I thought everybody wanted to see.
“Honestly, I lost a lot of myself. That version was a bit of a tosser. So I am pleased I left when I did. I am pleased I turned a corner.”
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